Livvie Rewrites
by Kathryn Pond
Summary: Olivias thoughts in Olitz scenes #1 Look at me (Sweet Baby 1x01) #2 The Best Dancer In The West Wing (Sweet Baby 1x01) #3 Listen To It (The Trail 01x06) #4 Say My Name (The Trail 01x06) Reviews are really appreciated!
1. Listen To Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal, though I won't object if someone would like to give me the rights.

A/N: One shot from the scene in 01x01 (Sweet Baby) where Liv goes to Fitz and confronts him about Amanda. http:/www.youtube.com/watch?vc6sKTbHevdw&featureendscreen I'm not very good, sorry, someone has probably already written this scene I'm sorry if this is your thing/ I'm thinking of rewriting more Olitz scenes like this one. Okay thanks, sorry for my lil ramble.

Fitz's assistant, `Shannon, opens the door for me. The office looks the same since the last time I was there. It seems like forever but nothing has changed. The eggshell couches still reside in the same spot, theres still a coffee table between the two. The only thing that has changed are the papers on his desk, the ones there when I had last been there are long gone.

"Where is he?" I ask impatiently, my inner tiger ready to pounce.

"It'll just be a moment," she replies as she heads out the door.

My phone rings and I rummage through my bag searching for the device. I find the phone and put my vanilla bag on one of the couches.

"Steven I can't talk right now. What's wrong?" I reel off.

"I'm at the restaurant Liv," his voice quivers, "I just- I need you here."

"Okay, uh, I'll be there, I'm coming." I say,I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"When will you be here?" questioned Steven.

"Maybe half an hour."

"A half hour?! Why!?"

"Because I'm doing something." I snap, "I'm, I'm coming."

I hear the door open behind me, "I, I have to go." I hang up on Steven and turn around to look at the President walking in, with Cyrus behind him.

Fitz is wearing a tuxedo as is Cyrus. He looks handsome as ever his curly hair perfectly groomed.

"Livvie? This is a surprise."

I stare at him. I just stand there. Horrified. He slept with her. He slept with Amanda Tanner.

Slowly he walks up to me. I refuse to break eye contact with him. I still can't believe that he actually did it. But he called her sweet baby, just like he did to me, and he told her he loved her and that he would take care of her just like he had said to me. He had kissed her and caressed her. How many other girls had he slept with? All of them in the West Wing? Was I just another number?

"We're gonna need the room, please," he says, looking back towards Cyrus and Shannon.

"Sir you have to give the toast to the President of France in ten minutes," Cyrus replies, " maybe you could find a-"

"We need the room." Fitz repeats.

Shannon exits the room followed by Cyrus who closes the door behind himself.

Fitz closes his eyes, "Livvie."

I lick my lips, tears fill up in my eyes and they rest on the floor. "Sweet baby?" He turns towards me, opening his eyes looking into mine. "Sweet ba-" The disgust evident in my voice. I can't even look him in the eye instead I stare at the wall. "Sweet baby." He had the audacity to call her that.

He points upwards, reminding me about the cameras above constantly watching us, observing every movement. I look up too.

I can't believe this is really happening. I stare at the floor, hoping it will prevent him from seeing the tears that are slowly filling up my eyes.

"Come here," he says as he walks towards the edge of the office where the cameras don't reach. I glance at him moving my head slightly as he walks past. I turn my head again to take a second look but I don't move immediately. I sigh and decide to follow him.

Slowly I walk towards him, glancing up at the cameras multiple times. Hes facing the window only a foot and and a half away from me.

"You left me," he says, stating the obvious. As if I don't know that I left him. I left the love of my life. How could I ever forget that? How could I forget the sacrifice I made so that he might serve his family better, have his full attention on being the President, and become a better man? I think about it every day. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't. Every. Single. Day.

"Because you are married. Because you said you wanted to dedicate yourself to your marriage," I last out, "Because you are the leader of the free world and I wanted you to be a better man. I wanted you to be the man I campaigned for," he moves closer, "the man I voted for, the man I elected."

Hes only inches away from me now and his hand is reaching out. I step back. If he touches me all these months being away from him would be for nothing. Adrenaline is already rushing through my veins along with fear and lust.

"Do not touch me, don't touch me," I'm pleading with him and I'm backing into the curtain behind me and his hand is wrapping around my waist pushing my jacket to the side "Please don't touch me." I'm against the window and hes leaning in. I can feel his breath and his legs are touching mine, his nose, his nose is not even a centimeter away from my forehead. My back is to the curtain again but hes still holding me and he's in control of my every thought and my every movement and my very reason for living and I hate it because hes married and he's the President and we can never be together.

My eyes are closed and I'm begging him to let go but not a word escapes my mouth and at the same time I'm wishing he would kiss me and tell me he loves me. I bite my lip, and shake my head no as if it would stop him, as if it would stop us. But my lips are open and so are his, and our noses are touching. He groans and I gasp for breath, not wanting to be here in this position with this choice because it shouldn't have had happened in the first place. But then he moves closer and I shake my head again, reminding myself that hes married and that if anyone ever found out his career and my career would be over. I'm gasping for air to breathe but the air surrounding us smells like his cologne.

He puts his hand on my neck and leans in closer. Our lips are nearly touching, "Look at me," he says. All I can do is gasp for more air reeking of his cologne, but I can't look at him because if I do I will kiss him. I won't be able to stop myself and I know it so I don't. "Look at me," he whispers again. I turn my head away from his face, "Look at me." This time its more of a command.

"Did you give her that dog?" I ask quietly and timidly, hoping that that stupid question will make him stop and bring us back to why I came. "DId you give her that dog?" I say again, this time sure, clear, and louder.

"I love _you_," he says as he stares into my eyes, his hand caressing my face. I look around as if something will stop him. My mouth moves but I don't know what to say to make him stop. Suddenly I remember my legs work and I stumble a few steps away from him.

I slap him.

"I believed you. You, you clouded my judgement, you made mistrust my _gut_ because I wanted to believe you, because I trusted you." Hes moving closer, and I'm scared that he will kiss me. I'm terrified. I walk backwards, trying to escape, "I destroyed that girls, she tried to kill herself."

Fitz has his lips on mine and its good, its great, its the best thing in the world and nothing else matters, not that its wrong or that he's married or that hes the leader of the free world. His tongue slips into my mouth but only after I open my lips to let him. His hands cradle my neck not allowing me to pull back.

The door opens and I hear Cyrus' voice, "I just wanted to say that we can hear you," Fitz lets go of me and I turn around embarrassed and full of regret of ever letting him kiss me for the first time and for the second and the third and every time after and especially now. "Screaming." finishes Cyrus.

Cyrus is just standing there astonished at what he just saw. Hes staring into Fitzs eyes then slowly lowers his head and keeps his eyes on the floor. I'm remain turned around, wishing that this would all just go away. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear just to do something with my hands.

Cyrus walks forward so that he's standing in front of Fitz "Mr. President you want to go clean up," he states

"Cy." Fitz warns

"No, you have lipstick on your mouth. You need to clean up."

I cross my arms again, just hoping to get out of this moment. Fitz leaves the room after a staring match with Cyrus, leaving just me and in the Oval Office.

"Mother of God." says Cyrus, concealing a chuckle.

I stare at Cyrus confused, "You. . . didn't know." I half ask, half state, "He tells you everything."

"Didn't tell me this."

I stand there, trying to cope with what I just learned. I had always assumed that Cyrus new, just like Mellie knew, just like a quarter of the West Wing new. "Because it didn't matter enough." I say, tears filling up my eyes. On my way to grab my purse Cyrus tries to stop me but he doesn't succeed and I manage to make my way to the door.

I remind myself again that I was just his mistress and that I meant nothing.

A/N: Please review? It'd be super nice. . . just sayin'


	2. The Best Dancer In The West Wing

**The****Best****Dancer****in****the****West****Wing****: ****Sweet****Baby**** 1****x****01**

Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal

A/N: Thanks to Brazielh for being the first person to favorite my story, hopefully I won't disappoint you! http:/www.youtube.com/watch?vqxh5OTJehLA&listWL89121880C8A0DD90 I have a whole playlists of these things so hopefully I'll get around to writing all of them. Please review! Thanks! This ones a bit short since the clip was mostly dancing. Also, does anyone have any youtube Olitz moments from 02, 03, 04, or 05?

"Ehrm," Mellie clears her throat, "I'd like a turn with the best dancer in the West Wing," she giggles and links her arm with Billy's. I fake laugh, pretending that I enjoyed Mellies joke and her company. "No offense Fitz," she says light-heartedly, smiling while patting him on the shoulder.

The song ends and we all turn to clap for the band that has been playing all night. They start a new song and I find myself without a dance partner. I look to Fitz and we just stand there for a moment. Then he puts out his hand for me to take, and I put mine on top of his and my hand on his shoulder. To any other person it would like like two people dancing, but for me its what I wish my life had been like if I had been Fitz's wife. Something that Mellie could do any day and no one would question it, but something I had never done with the man I loved.

"Don't look at me." I say.

"How come?" he asks.

"Because everyone will know." I reply, talking about the affair.

"I can't not look at you." says Fitz.

"The song will be over in a minute." I try to remain stern, I try to pretend that I'm not enjoying this and that I wouldn't like to do this for hours and hours

"This is ridiculous." We move a few steps before he says continues, "Everything is ridiculous. How did it all get so. . .dammit just look at me," I continue to stare over his shoulder, "Look at me," he insists and I oblige.

"Meet me in our spot in ten minutes."

"No." I reply, remaining cold as a stone. I will not be with him again. That was then. I will not do that again. There will be no more kissing in closets or quickies between meetings.

"I am not spending any more time away from you," he glances towards me and his eyes drop to my chest.

"Stop it, we're in public, look away." I command, hoping my act will push him away from me, that he will stop because I know that I'm weak and that he will catch me off my guard.

"I know that I don't have the right, I know," he says as he glances around, "I know you don't trust me, but-" he pauses for a few seconds not sure of what to say, he gives up and just says "I love you."

"Your wife is ten feet away." I remind him.

"I love you," he repeats.

"What about Amanda?" I press, hoping once again that she will be the escape to his flirting.

"I. Love. You."

We stop dancing as the last note rings clear. I turn towards the orchestra and clap, reluctantly Fitz does the same. Over the sound of the clapping I hear him say "Our spot, ten minutes."

"You can't leave, you're at a state dinner." I point out.

"Watch me," he says as he heads off of the dance floor, leaving me behind.

You don't have to go I remind myself. You don't want to go I try to convince myself. You're not going to go I lie to myself. But I know I will go and that I want to and that I'm not going to stop going.


	3. Listen to It

"Listen to it": The Trail 01x06

Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal.

A/N: I couldn't find any clips from 02, 03, 04, or 05 if you have any please tell me so I can write for them! This is absolute utter crap I am so sorry for writing this idk its really short and I couldn't think of many thoughts/opinions anyways heres the link for this one: watch?v=vbn0ZHwNTqI

"Why are you here? You can't be here." I ask Fitz.

"I didn't kill Amanda Tanner," he says.

"I know," I reply. I honestly don't believe it was him or that he had any part in it. "Her baby it wasn't yours."

"I know."

"But it could have been." It could've been his child. He slept with her, oh god he slept with her. I back up and put my hand up to stop him from advancing towards me. When all I really want him to do is to hug me and kiss my forehead and tell me that everything is going to be all right and that he never slept with Amanda and that this is all just a nightmare.

"Really? You really want me to detail for you how and when and in what positions me and Amanda Tanner had sex?" I turn around and start to walk away, "Would that make you feel better? 'Cause I'll do it."

Why would I want to know how he slept with her, what kind of girl would want the man shes in love with to describe that to her. It makes me want to kill myself just thinking about the two of them together. "No." I reply with disgust.

"You left me," I look at him a shocked expression on my face, for him to make excuses for his actions makes me furious, "I was unhappy, she was there one time and I made a mistake."

"I don't want to talk about it. You cheated on your mistress with your girlfriend, lets just leave it at that." Please, just go away, let me be, leave me alone.

"She was never my girlfriend and don't you ever call yourself a mistress, we both know better." He cheated on me. He still cheated on me he broke my heart, can't he leave me be.

"Why are you here?" I plead, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Cyrus got this in the mail a week ago," he pulls out a CD from his suits inner pocket, "It's a sex tape, I'm on it. I need you to hear it."

"I- I definitely don't want to hear you and Amanda Tanner having sex." As if there was any way I'll listen to him and Amanda together. . even the thought made me want to end my life.

"Olivia, I need you to listen to this." He walks over to the stereo and slips the CD inside.

I hear the moaning, and then 'take off your clothes'. I'm beyond astonished, that was, that was us. I stare at him, the remote in my hand pointing at the stereo.

"Cyrus, Cyrus got this? In the mail? Someone has had this for two years. Why wait? Why now?" I ask scared and horrified.

"All they had was a tape and a voice," he explains, "They needed a voice. They needed a girl."

I finish the thought for him, "They needed Amanda Tanner."


	4. Say My Name

"Say My Name": The Trail 01x06

Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal.

A/N: I quit like this one actually, just saying that updates usually won't come this quickly, but its spring break so I'm trying to write as muchas I can, though I will on regular weeks try to update 3 chapters a week, but I'll see what I can do okay? watch?v=vbn0ZHwNTqI

I bring the cold coffee up to my lips and let it slip down my throat. The strong taste of coffee beans remains in my mouth even after I'm finished with my sip.

I can't believe how hard the loss must have been for Mellie and Fitz. To lose a child. Thats something I'd have a terribly hard time dealing with. THe fact that they didn't tell anyone must have been so hard.

I stand up and head to the back of the bus. The least I can do is to give my condolences to Fitz. I walk down the aisle and sit next to Fitz who has an empty seat next to him. He's staring absent-mindedly out the window the lights lining the edge of the highway light up his face. I look at him and then away, then again.

I finally find the courage to speak "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Is Mellie okay? If she needs to take a break from the campaign I'm sure we could-"

Fitz cuts me off, "Mellie's fine. She flew to Alabama to do twelve campaign stops in two days, she's thrilled."

Theres a momentary pause before Fitz continues, "Nothing keeps that woman down. Not even a fake miscarriage."

Mellie. . .fake her miscarriage. I don't know how someone could do that, make people think that she had lost a child, a real issue for real people and she just lied about it. That woman is a political monster that woman, that woman I'm at a loss for words how horrible what she did is. I felt sympathy for her, America feels sympathy for her, people are devastated.

I stare at him, not showing my emotions, reminding myself that he is an incredible man, that I am falling in love with, and that this is his wife and to insult her would be to insult him. He looks into my eyes, but slowly they drift to my hand. He looks back up to my face, "Shes a real catch my wife." His eyes return to my hand. "I'm a lucky man."

"I'm sorry." I apologize

"Oh God please don't, don't give those to me" he says, rejecting my tissues, "I'm sitting here complaining about my wife and its sleezy and low and not fair to you and the oldest trick in the book."

He looks to the ceiling while I stare at the chair, both of us embarrassed about what he confessed to me.

"How did I get here?" he asks himself out loud, "Why didn't I meet you sooner?" I look into his eyes, "What kind of a coward was I to marry her and not wait for you to show up."

I don't know what to do so I stare at him and he stares back and it lasts for what feels like forever. The man I'm falling in love with is saying that he would marry me, that he should have waited for me. I feel happy that hes said that but so bad that he did at the same time. Hes married, and he's a governor and he's running for President that is the definition of unavailable. But I still have butterflies. I look down at my lap, ashamed of what I feel, something I've been told my whole life to not be ashamed of.

"Governor Grant," I start.

"Oh for God's sakes, we are so far beyond the Governor Grant crap." I sigh, "Just say my name."

"No, that's crossing a line. That would be inappropriate."

"Then lets be inappropriate." When I felt ashamed before, that was nothing how I felt to now. Because I wanted to be 'inappropriate' because he made me feel that way and he made my legs turn to jelly and my head to mush so that I couldn't move or think and he turned my world upside down. I scoff, hoping that will fool him into thinking that I'm not into him or this though I know thats untrue.

"Say my name," he orders. I sit, silent, hoping that I won't feel this way and that he'll stop feeling this way and that the flirting will stop and that everything will just stop because hes the one who makes my world turn round.

We sit in silence, but I'm tempted to say it. I'm tempted to say 'Fitz'. I really am. I want to. I don't want him to feel stupid or silly because he thinks its a one sided thing, because its not but I'm the only one holding back. I know he'd sleep with me and saying his name would be giving myself permission to sleep with him. Though I don't know if its the right thing to do, I still utter the word "Fitz." Quietly, ever so quietly. He doesn't say a single thing, he just continues staring out the campaign bus window. I try saying it again, still getting used to the words on my lips.

He slowly moves his hand from his leg to under the armrest and I find my hand moving from my coffee to his. I entwine my pinky finger and his ring, and my ring and his pinky, wrapping the rest of my hand around his enormous one.


	5. Go In Your Room Just Stand With Me

#5- "Go In Your Room & Just Stand With Me": Grant: The Trail 01x06

Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal.

A/N:I'm sh!t at sex scenes so I just wrote until she went into the room and then I did what was like the morning after or what I interpreted as the morning after. Link #1: watch?v=h817z6UnSmY and link #2: watch?v=-VIUkBcvOeE And my copy and paste-select thing doesnt work so I have to rewrite it and put KKKKKK's between paragraphs so if you see any I'm sorry.

Cyrus, Fitz and I are wheeling our suitcases down a hotel hallway after a long day of campaigning.

"This is me." Announces Cyrus, slipping his key card into the slot and opening the door, "How early are we starting tomorrow?"

"6 AM Pancake Breakfast, the Baptist Church, and a prayer meeting." I reply.

"I can feel the Holy Water burning my Pagan flesh," he jokes.

"Night," he says, his voice fading into the distance.

"Night." says Fitz to Cyrus.

"Night." I join in while chuckling.

walk up to my room door, my heart racing, "This is me."

"I'm down there," he says solemnly.

I sigh. For some reason my hand won't move and put the key card in the slot.

"Just go in your room and close the door and we'll pretend this never happened," he orders.

But I don't want to. I want to be with him, I want to be his even though its wrong. Though I tell myself I still have a choice if I want to do this, I know that I don't. I know that I'm going to go into his room.

"Go in your room," he advises me.

I stand there unable to move. I know what's right and what I should do but I also know that its not what I'm going to do. I take a deep breath and walk down the hall and he follows me.

**Just Stand With Me (Morning After)**

"I need the latest poll numbers for Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Arkansas, Oklahoma." I tell Jeannine.

"Super Tuesday is coming people and its going to kill us if we don't stay on top of it!" I announce while walking to the computer to check off my to-do list.

"Mornin'." Says Fitz. Hes wearing a blue shirt and a killer smile as always.

"Good morning Governor Grant." I reply, trying to act as cheerful as possible after what happened last night.

He stands there for awhile, watching me search through papers and type into things on the computer in front of me.

"Did you need something?" I ask, hoping he doesn't and that I can forget that last night I became an adulterer because I slept with him.

"No," I'm relieved, "Just. . .no."

"Good." I say, hoping that he will move on to talk to Cyrus or Mellie who came back early or another person working on the campaign just not me. Since he doesn't, I do and I walk towards Jeannine. I bend down, talking to her and asking when the polls will be printed when I feel him grab my arm.

He pulls me through the double doors and then closes them. We're out in the hallway and hes standing in front of me, my back to the wall. He sighs, searching for the words hes looking for though I know he doesn't have any. He opens his mouth to speak and in that moment I realise that we're alone. The hallway has no other staffers in it. It's just me and him and hes so so close.

"I'm married," he says.

"I know." I say, because I do and thats what I tell myself everytime I see him: hes married.

"And I'm running for president," he continues.

"I know."

"And we can't," he finishes.

"I don't want you to."

"Just. Just stand here with me. For one minute. Lets not go back in there and talk or think or. For one minute can we just stand here and I'm not the candidate and you're not the campaign staff or a fixer, we're just us. Just for one minute, just stand here," he moves closer, and I can feel my hormones rushing and the adrenaline and lust pumping throughout my body. But I don't move and I just stand there, gazing into his "One minute." I say, allowing myself one minute, the last minute I promise.

Before our minute is up, the door opens and Fitz moves back. Mellies standing in the doorway.

"Oh Liv, there you are." says Mellie cheerfully, "You really need to look at what they have me wearing at the town hall tonight. I really think its too much!" She holds open the door and I walk through, moving away from Fitz though my one minute isn't up.


	6. The Cameras I don't care

#6- "The Cameras. . .I don't Care": Grant: For The People 01x07

Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal.

A/N: Last upload for Season 1! Don't worry, I'll do Season 2 as well. Reviewing really helps me! Thank you so much to everyone who's read this and favorited it and reviewed its greatly appreciated. Link: watch?v=QGbn791Pgjg PS I'm also including her conversation with Cyrus which is NOT in the video (and i wrote it like complete shit sorry) but if you have a copy of the episode, its at approx. 26 mins. Enjoy!

The door slams shut behind Cyrus as he exits the room leaving me and Fitz alone. He's half sitting on his desk and half standing, his eyes are downcast, staring at the emblem seal on the blue carpet.

"I'm so sorry." I say, trying to comfort him though I know saying I'm sorry won't help. Saying sorry won't save his Presidency and it won't save his reputation. It won't do anything except let him know that I am truly sorry for what is about to happen, and I hope that means something to him.

"I'm not," he scoffs, "I'm not," he repeats talking to himself this time.

I stare at him in disbelief, how could he not be sorry that he's about to be crucified by the media? I don't understand, his marriage will be ruined, his kids will hate him, he'll be blamed for a suicide, one of his closest associates betrayed him, how could he not be sorry?

"A man who isn't President has options. A man who isn't President can divorce his wife."

"Fitz." I warn. I see where hes going with this, that me and him could be together and it would supposedly be okay. But I know it wouldn't. Even if he resigned or was impeached he would still be in the media's eye, he'd continue to be a public figure, every movement of his captured on film.

"A man who isn't President can have a life," he continues, "A wife he wants. A life he's always wanted." He moves closer to me, moving slowly with each syllable a step closer to me.

Him saying that brings me back to the campaign bus, the night when I'd first called him Fitz, the first night we were together, the night he told me that he felt like he was a coward for not waiting for me. A life he's always wanted. He's always wanted a life with me.

"One he loves." Hes staring into my eyes, and I into his. His breath is warm and smelling of sweet fruits. The way he looks at me makes my legs turn to jelly, my hearts racing, something he never fails to do to me, my breath heavy under the weight of the lust and love in the air.

He leans into kiss me. "The cameras," I whisper, looking up to the camera who is capturing every movement, watching every intimate moment. He looks up to, then we look down simultaneously. I let out a short breath which forms into a laugh. A smile appears on his face, and my face mirrors his.

"I don't care," he says while shaking his head.

I close my eyes, afraid that this isn't real and if I open them he'll stop and realise how these feelings are and how our relationship is wrong. But he continues to lean in. I lift my face up towards his and our lips meet. He kisses me. At first its slow and steady, like a goodbye kiss or an I love you kiss or one that has meaning and isn't full of lust. Slowly the kiss turns into a passionate one, his tongue slips into my mouth and he holds me tighter, pressing his body against mine. I wrap my hand around his neck and his hand grasps my ass.

"Mhh, Fitz." I pull away from the kiss.

"You have to go," he says, its not an order or a question, he knows what I have to do.

"I'm sorry." I give him a small smile.

I exit the office. I walk making my way down the hall and swing my black leather purse onto my shoulder. My hand makes their way up to my lips and touch briefly. Their not swollen from kissing, and even if they are you shouldn't bring attention to it. I clasp my hands together and rest them on my stomach. I walk down the hallway and turn left, then a right, and then another. I slow down to a stop when I recognize Cyrus sitting down on a bench, staring at an old painting.

"Of all the paintings in the White House, this one is my favorite— Alexander Hamilton as brilliant a political thinker as any man or woman who has walked these halls but he wasn't the President. Washington was President, he was the winner, but Hamilton could pick a winner. He knew who the country needed when they needed it." Cyrus pauses, "I don't doubt that he could do it, live the normal life he's always wanted, walk the dog, mow the lawn. A simple life, a happy life. For most people thats fine, its all they need. For him its a waste. . of talent, of potential. That man was born to be a leader— born to do this. Anything less would diminish him and deprive this country. He can talk all he wants about a regular life. Some men aren't meant to be happy. Their meant to be great."

Sadly, I understand what hes saying. I know I could live a simple life. I could settle down and have children, live enclosed by a white picket fence but its not what I want. I want to help people to lead something to make a difference. And I know Fitz does too.


	7. We're Not Friends

#7- "We're Not friends/ Anything But That" The Other Woman 02x02

Disclaimer: Shonda Rhimes owns Scandal, not me.

A/N: Wooh Season numbero dos! I debate whether or not to add all of the phone calls from each episode into one story, and I decided to so. . .they're longer! Sorry, they mumbled a lot so it was hard to hear some words so I improvised. Links: watch?v=zM2NfjN3Ftw anddd watch?v=fNWDb0-wECc

We're Not Friends

I'm lying down in my bed, not able to go to sleep as usual. All I can think about is Fitz and how long its been since I've seen him and when I'll see him next and what I'll do when I do and when he'll call me and how I'll act and what he'll say.

I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. I don't want to spend my nights and mornings and days and every second pondering about my ex-boyfriend whos married. I sigh, wondering how I got myself into this in the first place. He's the President, he's married, he has a baby coming, he has other children, if the press finds out we'll be crucified, it could ruin his career, it's morally wrong those are all the reasons why this can't happen not even to mention we agreed to stop seeing each other.

The phone rings and I let it, not moving, hoping that he will hang up and that he will realise that its wrong. It continues ringing. I roll over and pick up the phone, holding it to my ear.

"23 people." Try to be cold I remind myself, it will distance him.

"What?" he replies, confused.

"When you stay late in the Oval there are 23 members of your staff that have to stay late too."

"I'm reading briefs on East Sudan," he says.

"They can't go home till you do."

"How are you?" he asks, his deep voice filling the void that's grown since his last phone call.

"Richard, Joe, MaryBeth, Ted, Hank, that guy with the briefcase handcuffed to his wrist, Jose the chef, Kayla, Susan-" I rattle off before he interrupts, though I'm only halfway done.

"Susan went to the State Department and the briefcase guy is Rasheed"

"You're saying that 23 hard working Americans are staying late just so you can call me."

"You want me to hang up?" The answer is no, I wish we could talk forever. I should say yes and let him go back to work and then home to his wife but he'd know I was lying so I remain silent. He doesn't speak either, still awaiting my reply. I shift slightly in my bed uncomfortable with the quietness of this call.

"How are you?" I break the silence.

"I'm serving out my sentence of the crown jewel of the American prison system. How are you?"

"Fine except my married ex-boyfriend keeps calling me."

"This is friendly, we're being friends."

"We're not friends." I say.

"We're good friends," he replies.

"How's your pregnant wife?" I ask aggressively.

He pauses "Who's fault is that? Who fixed that for me?" He's not attacking me, but he is annoyed.

"Tell me to stop calling." I don't want him to, I just want him to be mine, I want to be his all I want is for us to be an actual couple without the cheating and lying and the whole Mellie and President problem. "Tell me you don't want to hear from me." I want to hear from him every minute of every day I want to be by his side. "Okay then, I'll speak to you tomorrow night," he says.

I put the phone down knowing that now that I've talked to him I'll finally be able to get some shut eye.

Anything But That

The TV is blaring and I'm only half paying attention to it. The newscaster is rambling on about Pastor Drake and his lifes story. The phone shrills and I shut off the TV with the remote. I sit up, Indian style and answer Fitz.

"23 people." I remind him.

"I sent ½ of them home early so its more like 12 people," he corrects, "Besides I'm working, I'm working on my eulogy for Pastor Drake who I did not know you were handling."

"I'm handling Pastor Drake." I pause, "Very sad."

"What?" he asks, curious to find out.

"I shouldn't." I say, regretting saying anything in the first place.

"What tell me." hes more persistent now that he knows its something worth hiding.

I change my position on the bed so that I'm facing the phones landline. "You cannot repeat this to anyone. I meant it." I make sure to make the seriousness in my voice evident. "Are you in?"

"I'm in tell me," he replies.

"He was. ." I say reluctantly, "Kinda kinky."

"Who?"

"Pastor Drake. He died on top of a woman who was handcuffed to a bed in a hotel."

"Are you serious?" he asks.

"She couldn't call for help because the sound of her screams were muffled by his. . girth."

"Pastor Drake?" hes completely astonished.

"The Nations Pastor." I confirm.

He starts to chuckle which turns into a full blown laughing fit which I can't help but join. Our Nations Pastor was having an affair- a kinky affair. I loved talking like this with Fitz, its the way things should be. Its light and friendly - something that's new to us.

"Stop laughing!" I manage to say through the fits of giggles.

He somehow manages to fit in an "I'm sorry."

I calm myself down enough to breath and talk. "Stop laughing! This is wrong, he was a leader a civil rights icon."

He starts laughing again and so do I, I can't help it, its contagious.

"It's like hearing about your fathers sex life. That image-"

"Is burned on my brain." I finish. We giggle together again. Our laughing finally concludes and the silence blankets us.

"She was his mistress- the women in the handcuffs." I clarify. He sighs. "He loved her."

"What do you want me to do Liv?" The silence comes long and in between every sentence uttered since the word mistress was spoken.

I know what I want. I want him to divorce his wife and still have his political career. But that isn't an option and I know that. I sold my soul to get him into office and that is the most important thing - him remaining the President of the United States. "Let me go."

"Anything but that." His voice is nearly a whisper.

"'Kay, I should go." I say, not liking where this is heading.

"Liv."

"What?"

"Mellies going to see the pastor's wife tomorrow to pay her respects. I just thought you should know."

"Great." I interrupt before he's finished. "Thanks for the heads up." Hes breaking me down and I'm afraid he'll hear it in my voice. "You know what I need? I need you to shut down the autopsy on Pastor Drake. I need you to shut down the US Attorney for me."

"Liv, I can't just."

I've been through so much to get him to the place where he is today even though he doesn't know it. I lied, I cheated, I put myself in legal danger for him and he can't do one thing for me. "THAT IS WHAT I NEED!" I scream. I know he doesn't understand but it hurts and I need something and he is supposed to be able to help me he is supposed to be there but hes not and please just let him take care of one thing, get one thing off my plate.

"Consider it handled."


End file.
